i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
