I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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