who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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