One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
