He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
