Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i love accidental penises.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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