Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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