she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
