called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
