So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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