well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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