I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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