She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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