i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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