Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
