I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
