forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
