How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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