Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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