Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
