Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
