no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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