I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
