but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So much Jack, so little girl.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
