Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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