how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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