she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
