Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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