the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I party with great urgency now.
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