It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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