he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
