I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Everything about him screamed your future.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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