I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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