But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
