i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
