this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
