I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
