I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
