I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
