No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
