Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
