Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
