sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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