Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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