I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
