sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
