dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
