we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
