Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
