Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
