There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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