i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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