Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
